What To Do?

If you are being abused, you need to know:

You are not to blame for the violence or the threats
You do not deserve to be abused
You have a right to live without fear
You have the right to a safe, healthy relationship and to have your own life
You cannot control the abuser's behaviour
Abuse often gets worse over time

what-to-do If you are not ready, or do not want to do anything right now, that is your choice - it is okay.

But you can find out information about what you need to know, or do, if you decide to stop the abuse. Information gives you personal choice and personal power.

If you live in the community:

Tell someone what is happening to you (friend, neighbour, faith leader, relative, health agency)
Ask others for help if you need it
If someone is hurting or threatening you, or if it is not safe for you where you are, call the police
Find out more about your options to take care of your financial security and personal needs
Call for counselling and support
Make a safety plan in case you have to leave quickly
Set aside an extra set of keys, I.D., glasses, bank card, money, address book, medication, and important papers. Keep this outside of your home.
Find a safe place with friends and family so you have a place to go to in an emergency
Considering obtaining a restraining order to protect yourself

If you live in a place such as a long term care home, retirement home or assisted living facility:

Tell someone what is happening to you
Ask others for help if you need it. Staff members have a responsibility to see that abuse stops and that you get the help you need
If someone is hurting or threatening you, or if it is not safe for you where you are, call the police
Report incidents to the applicable authority (management, director, supervisor)

If You Know Someone Who is Being Abused

If you think an adult needs help, talk to them first to find out how you might assist. Ask:

Are you having some trouble? Can I help you?
Is there someone I can put you in touch with who can help?
How would you like to be assisted?

Ask the advice of someone you trust who might know where to get the kind of help the adult needs.

If You Are The Friend Or Family Of Someone Who Is Being Abused:

Believe the abused older person. Even if the abuser seems nice, even if the abuser is also your friend
Listen to the person without judging. Do not give advice, do not express pity; reinforce that you care and will support the abused person with whatever she or he needs
Educate yourself. Realize that battering exists in your own community and to ignore and deny that fact further isolates the survivor
Understand that leaving an abusive relationship is difficult. Allow abused older people to make their own decisions and to take back control of their lives at their own pace
Offer the abused older person a place to stay
Encourage the person to seek support and assistance

Where Can You Turn For Help?

You are not alone. Many communities have organized a special network to assist victims of elder abuse.

You may also obtain information or support from a member of the clergy, a social worker, a healthcare service provider, a police officer, senior’s centre, financial institution, or lawyer.

If you’re concerned about:

Knowing someone who is being abused
Knowing what to do in an abusive situation
Navigating the health and social systems
Managing your own health and well being

Then we should talk - I can help!

You’ll get winning guidance and practical direction from an experienced coach with proven expertise in caregiver coaching, life care planning, problem resolution, transition management and advocating for seniors.

I offer a FREE” Care To Be Great” 1-on-1 30 minute tele-coaching session with me personally. It helps us get to know one another and the circumstances that brought us together and for you to decide if we’re a “fit” and that this approach is right for you.

It’s time to begin your journey of change – so let’s get started